I ran across a poem entitled “Everyone Can’t Be In Your Front Row,” about learning to place friends where they belong to ensure all of you are living your best life. The comparison in the poem is that of life as a theater with rows of friends based on their place in your world. Some friends lift you up. Others can sometimes unintentionally bring you down with their drama. And, it’s up to us to decide who gets the front row seats. Not everyone deserves to be there. So, choose wisely.
The analogy reminded me of something one of my front row people told me years ago. She said she had begun to realize each of her friends served different needs in her life, and she had come to accept that not all her friends were a fit for every role. I looked at her a bit puzzled and asked her to elaborate. She went on to explain she had decided by the time she reached 50 that each friend was meant for a particular purpose in her life. And, she placed them in categories fitting of the part they played.
At first listen, you might think this is cold or sounds almost like ‘using’ friends for their purpose. However, I realized she was right. I had done the same thing subconsciously with my friend groups. She was just the first one to label it as such. But, when you think about it, each friend has a role in your life based on their strengths. You call on each one at different times in your life. And, they do the same with you.
Some friends might fit the more casual acquaintance category. They’re great folks. However, they’re the ones you simply enjoy getting together with for a happy hour and laughing over some drinks and apps. You go your separate ways at the end of the night feeling energized for a bit. But, you may go weeks before you spend any significant time with this group again. They are by no means ‘less than.’ And, they have a great deal to offer... just in a different way than other friends might. Maybe they sit in your 3rd row.
Next is the group that includes those closer friends who you might have known longer. And, you are more involved in their day to day lives. They know when you’re going through some stuff...like the kids are sick, family members are having surgery, etc. They’re good for a quick pick me up. They are dependable and a good time...but maybe they don’t quite fit the bill of the raucous good time of the first group. And, they aren’t quite ready for front row status. They move to your 2nd row.
Finally, there’s your 2 a.m. panic text or phone call group. These people are your tribe. They’re as close to you as family, if not closer. If you needed bail, a trip to the ER or a getaway requiring a passport and no luggage...this is the group you call. If you’re lucky, they also are a part of the first two groups. And, it’s possible for any or all of your friends to share traits of all the ‘rows.’ But, one thing is for certain. This last group brings out your best self when you spend time with them. These are your front row people.
And, as for those individuals who seem to bring you down, draining you with their endless drama, always taking and rarely giving? Maybe they need to wait in the lobby for a bit. I don’t mean cut them off...just proceed with caution. LOL. And, there can certainly be movement among the rows as life evolves! Plus, none of the rows have limited seating. There’s room for everyone in your theater!
So, stand on your stage and look out on the audience. Who’s in your front row? Are there some seat adjustments needed? Everyone can’t be in your front row. And that’s Something To Hang Your Hat On.
